"Has everyone got one?'' asked Ben. Feel free to sing along or join in at any time but do give the choruses a really good go.
I've got a little song here I've written on Health and Safety."

"we'll be singing to the tune of that wonderful hymn 'Guide Me Oh Thou Great Redeemer'. Right here we go." Ben set off with
his strong tenor voice.

Singalong here with the First and Second verses, followed by the Fourth and Tenth verses of the "rousing" Health and Safety song.



First Verse

Guide us European Union
Through the maze of regs and rules.
Brussels, Strasbourg and New labour,
Red Tape, Quangoes - all those fools.
Health and Safety, Health and Safety,
Wrap us all in cotton wool, in cotton wool,
And cocoon us quiet and still.

Second Verse

No more flags, bunting or banners,
Ear muffs for musicians please.
No more maypoles, no more tightropes.
No more circus high trapeze.
Health and Safety, Health and Safety
Safety helmets evermore, for evermore,
Safety helmets evermore.



Fourth Verse

"Hanging flowers and window boxes,
Playing with water, climbing trees.
These are some forbidden pleasures,
Health and Safety bans with ease.
Health and Safety, Health and Safety,
What a monstrous plague, a blight, a plague, a blight,
How do these wankers sleep at night?"



Tenth and Final Verse

Someone who is bloody hopeless
Just went out and got a job.
Now he works in Health and Safety
What a fucking useless knob!
Health and Safety, Worthless Wanker,
What a mindless pile of shite, a load of shite,
Thank you Health and Safety - and Good Night!